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October 17, 2010
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Martian Ambassador Bolkar by kevinbolk Martian Ambassador Bolkar by kevinbolk
Read the rest of "I'm My Own Mascot" here.

I always play out this scenario in my head every time I use a restroom at a convention or show: the complete annihilation of our species because a few of us can't grasp the concepts of "the waste goes in the bowl, not on the seat", "Flush when you're done", and "for the love of god, if you leave a mess, CLEAN IT UP!".

Good thing he didn't see the ladies' room. The Martians probably would have obliterated Venus, Mercury, and the Moon just to be sure.

Say, this is the 99th b&w Mascot strip. Perhaps I should do something to commemorate strip 100. Hmm...
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:iconpreston-kei:
Preston-Kei Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
General: Ok, we have five space minutes to make a counter strike plan. How many earth minutes do we have.
Scientist: Well, if my calculations are correct, five space minutes is exactly thirty earth seconds, which means we have-
*BOOOOM*
Reply
:iconblackstormwarrior:
blackstormwarrior Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2013  Student General Artist
Haha, don't try Triathlon port-a-potties. Unless you can hold your breath for a long time...
Reply
:iconnoxv:
NoXV Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012  Student Filmographer
five space minutes=25 earth seconds.
Reply
:iconjianre-m:
Jianre-M Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
You've never been in most ladies rooms have you? I know of one where the handles and facets are real gold.

and I have it on authority that the accompaning mens room is... Not...

because people like girls better. :D

... j/k ... it's cause someone donated a couple million dollars for one single restroom. ... someone thought the men would mess it all up.
Reply
:iconminken:
Minken Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
Sometimes tampons end up in the f***ing toilet..... >_>
Reply
:iconnovemberharrins:
NovemberHarrins Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2011  Student
I've never been in a bathroom that was bad, but that's because I always use the one at home...
Reply
:iconstrawberrymarie:
StrawberryMarie Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011
rofl i think both can be bad, but if i had the choice of aim, :shifty: i might miss... on purpose:stare:for girls theres not really any aiming...
Reply
:iconfullofnerdiness:
FullofNerdiness Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011
Bolkar+Godbeard=END OF WORLD AWESOMNESS!!!!
Reply
:iconfrostedicefire:
FrostedIcefire Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
School, the girls' bathroom, feminine products go in the trash can and not on the floor. *shiver*
Reply
:iconcorgilovr516:
corgilovr516 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011
Try school bathrooms.... gym school bathrooms. The hate of mother-nature grew.
Reply
:iconppganimepikafan:
PPGanimepikafan Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2011
i've been into some pretty disgusting womens bathrooms before :omg: in fact, the other day i went into one, and litterally, there was...number 2 all over the floor :iconimhorrifiedplz: I of course ran out as fast as i could :XD:
Reply
:iconstrawberrymarie:
StrawberryMarie Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011
that face goes perfectly, that seriously made me laugh
Reply
:iconppganimepikafan:
PPGanimepikafan Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2011
glad to make you laugh at one of my grosses experiences :lol:
Reply
:iconlady-crusaderkira:
Lady-CrusaderKira Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Hah. Especially Venus. XD
Reply
:icongardeecossaise:
GardeEcossaise Featured By Owner May 22, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I've not been in too many women's bathrooms, since I can't imagine to many situations where I (tried to capitalize that for effect) but I remember when I was in a disgusting mens bathroom, and had the image in my mind of the women's bathroom perfectly clean, with occasional flower bowes, and smooth jazz playing. Do not judge me, I know thats an exaderation.
Reply
:iconhearts-are-cold:
Hearts-Are-Cold Featured By Owner May 28, 2011  Student General Artist
Oh, not an exaggeration at all. Women's restrooms are usually extremely pretty and nice, that is, until you look into the stall, then you leave. Quickly.
Reply
:iconpostwavecore:
PostWaveCore Featured By Owner May 7, 2011
Here I sit...
Reply
:iconshennanigma:
Shennanigma Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
SPACE MINUTES.
Reply
:iconcheckersxiv:
CheckersXIV Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
.....eww
Reply
:iconhiddenmistdash:
Hiddenmistdash Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2011
Whats so wrong with the ladies room?! You haven't been in any have you? They are generally quite clean and do not stink.
Reply
:iconjakedj11:
Jakedj11 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
really? people tell me the lady's restrooms are quite disgusting wherever I go.
Reply
:iconhiddenmistdash:
Hiddenmistdash Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2011
Hrm. Well generally at malls and such ladies toilets aren't so bad really.
Reply
:iconjakedj11:
Jakedj11 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wish men we're the same.
Reply
:iconhiddenmistdash:
Hiddenmistdash Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011
lD'''
Reply
:iconjakedj11:
Jakedj11 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
would make the world a cleaner place, indeed.
Reply
:iconhiddenmistdash:
Hiddenmistdash Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011
Lets hope. :3
Reply
:iconjakedj11:
Jakedj11 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
hope won't get us anywhere, but what can we do?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconotaku-of-michigan13:
Otaku-of-Michigan13 Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2011
Actually, the ladies' room is quite clean, thank you very much. We DO find the stench of piss and poo offensive, you know.

Or, well... usually. I've seen... bad things at school... *shudders*
Reply
:iconjakedj11:
Jakedj11 Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
bad things indeed, people tell me.
Reply
:iconyyanaoni:
YyanaOni Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2011
I wouldn't necessarily say that, I've seen quite a few ladies rooms that are truly horrible to behold.
Reply
:iconotaku-of-michigan13:
Otaku-of-Michigan13 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2011
Well... I assume their male counterpoints are worse... since men miss the toilet bowl more than women...
Reply
:iconyyanaoni:
YyanaOni Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2011
Eh...Men, women, in the end we're all slobs. lol
Reply
:iconotaku-of-michigan13:
Otaku-of-Michigan13 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2011
True, so unbearably true... >w>
Reply
:iconfrancescakitty:
FrancescaKitty Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah too true. The worst bathrooms I've seen are located in small gas stations that are filled with people smoking >_> Once I went to use a men restroom. The station that has it didn't even have one for women DX When I got inside, it was in bad shape- dirty, cracked floor, stained walls and ceiling XP I hurried as fast as I could. Another time, I used a restroom in a small gas station near Tennessee-Alabama state line. Inside the store, people were smoking O_O The ladies' restroom was gross and I don't think the men's one was even better. Honestly, the store itself wasn't that good inside.
Reply
:iconxsilenthills:
XSilentHills Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I work as a cleaner for big buisnesses, and believe me, the men's room is always worse. They splatter when they pee, women flush the toilets, put paper towel in the garbage, and don't stick their hands on the mirror while they're still wet. : / They also don't shed in the sink.
Reply
:icondevlinllama:
DevlinLlama Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2011
How long is a space minute
Reply
:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Student Writer
I really wish I could say I couldn't relate to this, I really wish I could. But then I'd be lying.
Reply
:iconchibi-chocolate123:
chibi-chocolate123 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2010
ah man, the boys restrooms...
i had to go there once with my dad. NEVER AGAIN
Reply
:iconthe-golden-knight:
The-Golden-Knight Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2010
Public Bathrooms...being THAT unkempt...Yeah, I guess it IS something to be furious over, for those that aren't Spartan-minded...
Reply
:icongutzgrilla:
GutzGrilla Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2010
Oh, man... you have no idea. The worst of it all is people (men, for that matter) who can't even think of washing the freaking goddamn hands after using a restroom (gives me the urge to sever their infectious hands :chainsaw:). Or... when I can't find soap or paper, or there is no water... I prefer not using the water closet at all (although, sometimes, it gets unbearable to go on like this).
Reply
:icontinkerbellbird:
tinkerbellbird Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2010
After having been a janitor for 4 years through college, I can say yes...there is much truth to this comic
Reply
:iconkwr2k11:
kwr2k11 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2010
I wonder how Marvin the Martian (from the Bugs Bunny/Duck Dodgers cartoons) would react to having to use the Earth restroom facilities?
Reply
:iconkatheb:
katheb Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2010  Professional Filmographer
"it's the only way."
Reply
:icontwaxie:
Twaxie Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
To be completely honest, I'm usually more curious as to how the mess was made than shocked at the mess itself. I think sometimes that it's not possible to make that kind of mess without some kind of planning.
Reply
:icongrahamtheman:
Grahamtheman Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2010
It's actually kind of funny. I took a vacation to Germany once and everywhere you went if you needed a public restroom you had to cough up 20 (or something like that) Euro-cents. That said, you got what you paid for. "Pristine" isn't a strong enough adjective. |D
Reply
:iconkealithetaru:
KealiTheTaru Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2010
Sad but true, hence why I try to avoid using public restrooms so often. It's as if people are monkies and there exists NO cleaninglady...
Reply
:icondanielle93:
Danielle93 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010  Student Digital Artist
I don't blame the martians XD
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:iconhavockitten:
HavocKitten Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
In this particular scenario, i would, quite literally, die laughing. and pointing at the idiots that caused the problem.
Reply
:iconhotel-dodongo:
Hotel-Dodongo Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2010
Anyone who gets a job as a janitor deserves a Medal of Honor in my book. :salute:
Reply
:iconbones1925:
bones1925 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2010
Why is everybody talking about the ladies' restroom? The one Bolkar goes into is the Men's...

And the "nipples" are just buttons that have to go in that direction because of the position he's in.
Reply
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