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Totally True Tales of the ER by kevinbolk Totally True Tales of the ER by kevinbolk
Read the NEXT "I'm My Own Mascot" here.

Continuing the saga of my recent back injury, I didn't know at this point I actually had disc goo leaking out of the sides of my spine. So naturally, I figured I pulled a muscle and felt like a wuss going to the ER for it. Hence, "Batman: Knightfall" and monster bees.

Next up: DRUGS!
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:icondragon1us:
Dragon1us Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Lol
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:iconbetta132:
Betta132 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014   General Artist
When I first read this, I read that as 'drugged-out labrador'. Makes so much less sense.
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:iconauroralalune:
AuroraLaLune Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
could also keep it simple and believable... fell down the stairs, tried lifting a car and had to get your disks realigned so you wouldn't be paralyzed if it fucked up more. i don't need a back brace but i have scoliosis. ive had it since i was a kid. they found it when i was ten because they were doing x rays and finding other things. they also found arthritis, hip displatia and a bunch of other fun stuff. -.- i avoid hospitals. since i have PTSD they wanna check my mind before they check my body. -.- idiots. I used to be on prescription pain pills but i was weaned off of them via my request growing up, because while you get used to pain pills the pain still gets worse with things like that. Because of my pb being an idiot when i was in labor, twice, no not an idiot but because im over weight and have a large chest and PTSD, he decided that since social security lost the records i was full of shit so he wouldn't check. He almost killed me and my sons because my spin isn't simply just curved, its twisted. when they had to put needles in my spine for emergency c section guess what info they didn't have because his dumb-ass didn't take me seriously? thank goodness the doctors otherwise were able to save our lives when the fuck up nearly killed us. epidural for emergency c section, plus it going as a spinal tap... with all due respect i told them at the hospital and they did the best they could with it, with my second son and the first time the anesthesiologist saved our lives after nearly killing us because he was going off of the information he had on paper like he was told to do. the second time they had to keep trying until they got it right which meant fifteen minutes of stabbing sensations all over my body while they found the right spot. -.- their has GOT to be a more humane way of doing that. This was overseen by the OBGYN who was doing the c section after several times of my second son trying to come early and their being distress in me from it and having stopped labor too much. My body was having trouble handling it. anyway, he was the last doctor id recommend to anyone with any type of mental health diagnosis. PTSD is in laments terms, nightmares and flashbacks. a flashback varies but for me, my mind wonders and replays it much like you would replay any memory, only mine have triggers that replay them not because i want them to be but because they were traumatic. Ive had more back pain since than ever before and I have these phantom pains that i know to be nerve damage but i dare not bring it to a doctor... they will just check my head first. oh yeah, another symptom is to avoid sources of trauma. -.- gee i wonder why. anyway, because i have this label people seem to lose their ability to see past that its supposed to mean im sick in a different way as implied by the term illness in "mental illness"... -.- anyway... basically it means i have bad memories and flinch when someone grabs me or things like that... -.- ... and you would think doctors would be less effected by the stigma on mental health diagnosis's... but they are not. -.- Id say be glad its not that and say something more believable like that you fell, just make sure to tell the doctor the truth and that thats what they say to your family as well but that the truth gets told to the doctor and in paperwork, if it means that much to you.
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:iconleviathantamer:
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2013
And to think... our wonderful bonding comments all began because of this comment.
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:iconauroralalune:
AuroraLaLune Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
indeed. :)
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:iconleviathantamer:
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013
...... STRATEGIC SPACING, MAN! DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT?! it all looked like a legitimate story but... my eyes.
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:iconauroralalune:
AuroraLaLune Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
lol yeah, keeping that in mind. oopsies?
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:iconleviathantamer:
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013
XD just remember that.
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:iconauroralalune:
AuroraLaLune Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i will. just so that you know. the leviathan of mythology could never and would never be tamed. It would be like taming the moon, or stopping the colors of an auroraborialis. :)
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:iconleviathantamer:
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013
Well, that's why Fiction is called Fiction. Rules, Standards, and the Laws of Nature are outright obliterated when it comes to Fiction. After all, in Fiction, Gods can die.
Reply
:iconauroralalune:
AuroraLaLune Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
in mythology gods can die as well.
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:iconleviathantamer:
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2013
Mythology is fiction... possibly. Nothing is truly definite. That's what the laws of Fiction are. Therefore, Leviathans COULD be tamed.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondisneydamsel98:
disneydamsel98 Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
bees. my god.
Reply
:icontrue-solunar:
True-Solunar Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
Asian Giant Hornets: Your alibi is now plausible... But some may want to validate it...
Still not as bad as being taunted with exposure to "Killer Dragon Bees"... 4 in. long, acidic venom, regenerating barbed stingers (stinger is lost when they sting, but is non-fatal to the bee and is grown back in 3-4 days), armor-like scales covering their body, markings that glow like fire, carnivorous with a voracious appetite, and with wings so powerful that they sound like a chainsaw with enough speed to easily outmaneuver a cheetah... By the time you hear them, you're living on borrowed time... A small swarm could reduce a bull elephant to bone in less than five minutes...

My Challenge: An artist's rendition of said creature...
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:iconauroralalune:
AuroraLaLune Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh gawd... why?
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:iconnoxv:
NoXV Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Student Filmographer
...thanks for the nightmares, buddy. -__-
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:icontrue-solunar:
True-Solunar Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012
You're welcome?
Reply
:iconsomerrocks:
somerrocks Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
YAAAAAAAAY NIGHTMARES!
(and now the mascot of nightmares themselves)
:iconbrvrplz::iconjustinbeiberplz: wich is uglyer obliviusly the second one
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:iconizucatdrawing:
Izucatdrawing Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
How'd his finger get bitten off?
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:iconalaskathewolf:
AlaskaTheWolf Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011   Traditional Artist
luchador means fighter in spanish xDD


i know it because i'm from spain.
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:iconqweengumi:
QweenGumi Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
aw she's so sweet
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:iconblkwhtrbbt:
blkwhtrbbt Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011
My dad was ER'd for the exact same thing. It came 2 weeks after some guy rear ended him. He's normally an amazingly tough guy, but this thing.... A leaking disk will have even chuck norris in agony.
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:iconmariogal:
Mariogal Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2011
I feel your pain, feeling stupid for going to the ER for something that you're sure isn't a big deal. However, yours really WAS a big deal, while all that happened to me was just fainting spells that I recently discovered >_>;
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:iconnekoroxas13:
nekoroxas13 Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2011
*batman voice* Bees MY GOD
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:iconlooptheloopy:
looptheloopy Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2011  Student General Artist
Disk goo... Heh. xD
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:iconrikumario:
rikumario Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
what bit your bro's finger off?
Reply
:iconoctoboy-the-8th:
Octoboy-the-8th Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011
Ha ha, she's writing it all down.

Yeesh, what bit Bro's finger?
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:iconvegepen:
Vegepen Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011
Bees, my god :iconbatmanplz:
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:iconcoleslayer:
Coleslayer Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
My God, THE BEES!
Reply
:iconobliviondreamer:
OblivionDreamer Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
I DON'T HAVE YOUR DAMN HONEY!!!
Reply
:icondolluan25:
Dolluan25 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2011
So does that make you batman if bane broke your back?
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:iconburningheaven:
BurningHeaven Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011
You fool! Everyone will know that you ripped off Knightfall once The Dark Knight Rises comes out. Well, that or they think that Nolan stole your personal experiences and made them into a Batman movie.

Either one.
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:iconspek09309:
spek09309 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011
She was so worried for you :XD: Having kept an attitude like that always helps things stay light hearted even if the situation becomes a little serious.
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:iconfuposey:
Fuposey Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So basically, you've been fighting with El Asso Wipo? [link] :XD:
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:iconbill-clay:
Bill-Clay Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011
Bane the man who broke the bat, nice reference
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:iconblueflameskull489:
Blueflameskull489 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011
Giant Mutant Bees *remembers Linkaras Amazons Attack review* Bees My God. XD
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:icondarkx1122:
DarkX1122 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011
You could always say Sean Penn decided you looked like a punching bag, no one will contest that.
Reply
:iconwolfspiritzero:
WolfSpiritZERO Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011
Alternative Back Injury Excuses:
- Shot by a vengeful holocaust survivor
- You got in a fight with the Grinch on Christmas
- Fail Knievel Jump
- Hit by a car while saving a basket of cute puppies
- Kung Fu master hit you with paralyzing pressure points
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:iconquestion-mark-man:
question-mark-man Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011
It was Robo Godzilla.
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:iconmariel28:
mariel28 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2011
Lovin the batman ref, gotta say.
Reply
:iconsomeotherguy2:
someotherguy2 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
A deadly bee weapon broke your back!?
Bees my God.
Reply
:iconkanadeyamaguchi:
KanadeYamaguchi Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Drugged out luchadores aren't nothing to sneeze at! You could be out of crime-fighting almost indefinitely, Kevin! xc
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:iconsilhouettemoon:
SilhouetteMoon Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
lol nice
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:iconsmallsketch:
smallsketch Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Student Digital Artist
nice feeling
Reply
:iconalfredofroylan2:
alfredofroylan2 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
Does that mean that you'll be replaced by a youngest and more badass cartoonist???
Reply
:iconthe-bloody-bishop:
The-Bloody-Bishop Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Student Writer
I really can't wait to see what sort of expression you'll use to depict your reaction to when the doctor tells you just how seriously f-uped your back really was.
Reply
:iconorlockm249-saw:
OrlockM249-SAW Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
wow, sadness, regret, and nerdiness all on one strip now that's someone who knows how to captivated the audience. Also the last panal as batman said it him self "BEES, my god"
Reply
:icongiantmosquito:
GiantMosquito Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Professional Filmographer
luchadores AND mutant bees? So awesome.
Reply
:iconmusicrocksgbv:
MusicRocksGBV Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
Lol, gotta love it. :D Humor of your pain. I'm sorry for how excruciating it must be though but glad to hear you're doing more or less okay?
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:iconkilo60:
Kilo60 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh god, back injuries are the worst. You were smart to go the ER. :worry:
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