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Words on the Butt by kevinbolk Words on the Butt by kevinbolk
Read the rest of "I'm My Own Mascot" here: [link]

BUSTED! The joke's on her though...I can't even read!

Okay, so this didn't actually happen, but it does cross my mind every time I see someone wearing pants with words on the fanny (as was the case at the post office yesterday). Luckily like most well-adjusted adult men, I have mastered the subtle art of the "ninja quick booty peek" so as to avoid detection and awkward social situations like the one illustrated above.

Yeah..I can be a bit of pig sometimes. What? I did a comic about PONIES last week. Cut me some slack.
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:iconmadmontyzuma:
MadMontyZuma Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014
And my reply would be, 'Well it was so distorted and stretched out it took me a while to figure out what it said".
MT
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:iconerica-sakura:
Erica-Sakura Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's okay, K-Bo, we still like you; even if you are a perv!
Reply
:iconpreston-kei:
Preston-Kei Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I end up reading the words on a girl's breast area. It takes me two seconds to read the word or phrase, but the word or phrase never makes sense.
"What does 'Smexy' mean?" I think to myself. I then stare at the word and contemplate the meaning for a while.
"Smexy." I think to myself. "Could this be the way young people pronounce the word sexy these days? Most likely. Then why is it on her shirt? Is she implying that she herself is sexy? While I agree with the idea, why is it necessary to declare this publicly, and-"
"Excuse me." says the lady in question. "Are you staring at my boobs?"
 "Of course not my dear!" I say to her. "I am merely examining the words written on your breast area."
"For five minutes?" She says sarcastically. "Maybe you should stop being such a pervert."
To which I respond, "Maybe you shouldn't wear shirts that use slang words so that the average human being doesn't have to ponder the meaning of it, or why it is necessary to make such an unnecessary statement through clothing. Have you ever considered that?"
And then comes the pepper spray. T-T
So Mr. Bolk my good sir, I have the utter most sympathy for what happened to you
Reply
:iconjummbl:
jummbl Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
So she pepper sprayed you for explaining yourself? What a bitch. It sounds like you weren't even posing a threat.
Reply
:iconpreston-kei:
Preston-Kei Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Eh heh, it seems I was to subtle. This story is 100% fake-a-roony. Sorry :P
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:iconjummbl:
jummbl Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, even if it was a story, it made me angry. I would call the cops on someone who pepper sprays me for no apparent reason, that's assault
Reply
:iconpreston-kei:
Preston-Kei Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh heh. Ass-ault.
Reply
:iconbo23bobad6:
bo23bobad6 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my brains just exploded out of the relatability of your comment *brainfart*
Reply
:iconofficial-izzy:
official-izzy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sadly, some girls in my eighth grade class wear low-cut shirts or words on the butt. Unfortunately, my eyes do draw towards those areas. ( and I'm a girl!) :/ No one caught me... yet. :O
Reply
:iconpittstop:
pittstop Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2013
Ninja peeks are the best aren't they. :D
Reply
:icondorain1:
Dorain1 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If girls don't want guys looking at their butts, then stop fishing for looks by wearing tight pants. Track pants get you through the day just as well as tight jeans.
Reply
:iconiliketoeatchildren:
Iliketoeatchildren Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
Translation: Girls should only wear what I approve. Their comfort doesn't matter, I'm an animal and I can't control myself. 

How about fuck you. 
Reply
:icondorain1:
Dorain1 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
How about fuck you right back. I'm saying nothing of the sort. I'm saying (Gasp!) that women should take responsibility for their actions and choices. I know that's a radical concept. You think that women should be able to do whatever they want, with no repercussions whatsoever, but this is the real world. Choices have consequences. No one says she has to dress like a slut-cookie; there's no reason she can't wear something loose and comfortable instead of something awkward and slinky.

If sounds to me like you're the one who can't control yourself.

P.S. I'm asexual; girls don't turn me on at all; which makes your post all the more ridiculous. You had best shut up before you make an even bigger fool of yourself.
Reply
:iconcandyheartsweetness:
CandyHeartSweetness Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012  Student General Artist
HAHAHAHA XDDDD
Reply
:iconfoggypebble:
FoggyPebble Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2012
In highschool I used to be kinda braindead and I was also not used to seeing curves (I was flat), so I'd sometimes stare at "words" and such. I wasn't even lesbian, I was just thinking stuff like "Ugh, you're wearing THAT?" and "I wish I had boobs too.. :(". I once even got caught, and she announced to the class that I was kinda staring at her boobs. When these girls wear neon colors, push ups, designs that lead the eye, and words RIGHT THERE, of course the eye goes there, and those girls totally want your eye to go there. Of course I don't stare at people anymore. Grew out of that awkward habit. TMI?
Reply
:iconlalala1901:
Lalala1901 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
vary slick myfriend
Reply
:iconjakeyu:
jakeyu Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012
Let the Lord help you man your girlfriend/wife is going to kill you
Reply
:iconizucatdrawing:
Izucatdrawing Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
This reminds me of Abercrombie, no wonder they have a boy section.
Reply
:iconnanaanorexia:
NanaAnorexia Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
...Well you know women check it out if you're looking at any part of their body. xD EVERYTIME!!! Sometimes they like it and sometimes they don't.
Reply
:iconshadow-pine:
Shadow-Pine Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Student Artist
This totally made my day! I always find my self lookig at a girls butt if it has words. >_<
Reply
:iconschuenemann:
Schuenemann Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
We girls always notice guys staring at our butts, we just don't let on because we secretly enjoy the self-esteem boost.
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:iconkevinbolk:
kevinbolk Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2011
Point noted. ^_~
Reply
:iconjonkitzmiller:
JonKitzmiller Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
i know what you mean man (i did that once too everyone took it the wrong way and i was slapped)
Reply
:iconiliketoeatchildren:
Iliketoeatchildren Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
You stared at someone's ass for 5 whole minutes. You deserved to be slapped.
Reply
:icondolluan25:
Dolluan25 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2011
Let me guess 1 minute for each letter?
Reply
:iconoctoboy-the-8th:
Octoboy-the-8th Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2011
Illiteracy can be such a problem, can't it?

Gotta love the cheeky expression in the last panel though.
Reply
:iconradda3:
radda3 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011
How are you a pig? :? You're were polite...
Reply
:iconiliketoeatchildren:
Iliketoeatchildren Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
Staring at her ass. Did you not read the comic?

Oh I'm just gonna ogle your ass in public, but hey If I'm polite when you call me out that makes e a nice person.
Reply
:iconlazysupermutant:
Lazysupermutant Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011  Student Writer
I was going to make a joke, I forgot
Reply
:iconzeldafan21:
zeldafan21 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2011
PLAY THE ILITERIT CARD
Reply
:iconsylvaur:
Sylvaur Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh God... this is so funny... I'll fave this...:la:
Reply
:iconjwtcreator:
JWTCreator Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2011
Don't worry.....girls can be perv too! XD *JK
Reply
:icon6-qubed:
6-Qubed Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2011
I, miss, am a fan of writing.

I was admiring your lovely font.

(this really works better with words on shirts but whatever)
Reply
:iconanimedanny:
animedanny Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2011  Student Artist
i've been this situation before many times
Reply
:iconebalance:
Ebalance Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
XD... If only large predators could read... then we'd see a million rich girls toss of their high heels and run for cover...
Reply
:iconcrittercre8r:
Crittercre8r Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Considering the fact that if the "booty" is too big you can't always read what the pants say due to missing letters... O.o
Reply
:iconmadeyes888:
madeyes888 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
I was innocently and actually trying to read someones shirt and they had huge boobs so it took awhile (Sense the shirt was wrinkled at some words) they noticed and punched me in the jaw. Im a chick for crying out loud! Come on!
Reply
:iconbruce8331:
Bruce8331 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011
I run into the same problem when women have phrases on their T-shirts, it's even worst when their breasts wrinkle the text. That's where a friend of mine told me about the 5 second rule.
Reply
:iconthislifesend:
Thislifesend Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
THis just perfectly fits in my everyday life :D
Reply
:iconminnie-salinas:
Minnie-Salinas Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
In the Navy, we have name tapes sewn on to the asses of our working uniform. Makes for some uncomfortable moments.
Reply
:iconretrogamersblog:
Retrogamersblog Featured By Owner May 26, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Brilliant expressions as always.
Reply
:iconcesquito:
cesquito Featured By Owner May 24, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
So what? you could be a slow reader, or you could tell her that you enjoy reading XD
Reply
:iconmariogal:
Mariogal Featured By Owner May 15, 2011
I agree whole-heartedly to this. If you don't want attention being drawn to yourself in a fashion you DON'T want, then why'd you do it??

I hate women -_-;
Reply
:iconkundaba:
Kundaba Featured By Owner May 14, 2011
"Ninja quick booty peek" and it's sister technique "Ninja quick booby peek"

Quite subtle these peeks are, but to pull them off requires much practice...

...

DON'T JUDGE ME!
Reply
:iconthislifesend:
Thislifesend Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
THey are hard to perform And if you fail, the slap risk is high. But if you do it correctly, you will see the glory!
Reply
:iconjota9000:
jota9000 Featured By Owner May 13, 2011
then you can anser, " Si porque no puedo leer adecuadamente las palabras en ingles, por favor podria acercarme las letras un poco más " :)
Reply
:iconvampire-knight10:
Vampire-Knight10 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Student Writer
:iconconfusedplz: say what now?
Reply
:iconvickyviolet:
VickyViolet Featured By Owner May 12, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You have no idea how hard I lol'd. :iconiwantitplz:
Reply
:iconbryttbratt:
BrYttBRatt Featured By Owner May 11, 2011
To be honest, I never understood those "Juicy" pants. Of all designer names and places to put it, why that, and why there? Your butt's juicy? Sounds gross.
Reply
:iconofficial-izzy:
official-izzy Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm assuming the word "Juicy" on the behind has a sexual meaning. :O
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